Redefining Success: From Poverty to Freedom

Growing up in poverty, I’ve always been driven to carve a path for myself with more security. But as time goes on I realize that my definition of success needs updated in order for me to not be in an endless quest for safety. And I’ve discovered that for me, success boils down to one core concept: freedom. It's the freedom to live comfortably without the constant worry that scarcity once imposed on my life, the freedom to slow down, the freedom to trust myself and my life.

My upbringing left a profound impact on my perspective. I can vividly recall instances of my mother making unimaginable sacrifices, often foregoing her own meals to ensure I had enough to eat. We used food stamps at the grocery store, were made fun of for our free lunches at school, and I was called to the school nurse's office due to suspicion I had an eating disorder because I simply didn’t have enough to eat. These memories have etched into my consciousness, shaping my relationship to money, to success and to what is enough.

“So I came to place immense pressure on myself to tick off every item on a never-ending to-do list. Chasing security and running from my past.”

In the realm of business, setbacks can trigger my panic mode, leading me to make choices that don't align with my values in pursuit of immediate financial gains. Never wanting to be in the position again where there truly isn’t enough. And panicked at the notion that that could be right around the corner. 

You can call it hustle culture, you can call it a trauma response, in any case it ruled my life in ways that absolutely don’t align with my desire for freedom. 

So I’m building the foresight that such moments of panic come in waves – temporary and bound by time. I’m reminding myself regularly of the safety I’ve already created for myself, that I don’t need to place pressure on myself to not wind up where I began as I’m nowhere near that place. 

I’m embracing slowing down as a part of the freedom I’m really after. Some days, success lies in merely getting through the day, regardless of the unchecked boxes. Echoing the wisdom of Alan Watts I aim to:

"Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence."

I repeat the mantra like a heartbeat: that everything I need is already within me. 

And the main thing is that all of this is deliberate. This kind of growth doesn’t happen accidentally, it’s through the consistent pursuit of a new paradigm for myself. 

TAME YOUR INNER STORM

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