“You are the average of the five people you most associate with.” ~ Tim Ferris
It’s true, my motto as I’ve gotten older has become maybe what some people would deem as “selfish”. But the truth is, if I’m not inspired by you in some way, I probably won’t spend much time with you.
I like to think of myself as just...selective.
Why should your time, the ONE entity you cannot buy back, wasted on anyone you are not learning from or growing with in some way?
It shouldn’t be.
End of story.
And why shouldn’t you value your time in the highest regard?
Wasting time with someone who is toxic, and I mean someone who is not helping you grow and physically, emotionally, spiritually and/or energetically draining you is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. (Read that metaphor in a meme once- can’t take credit for that one!).
Not only are you wasting your time with these people but you are also (hypothetically) “poisoning” yourself.
We’ve all dealt with toxic people. Maybe, just maybe you aren’t even aware of how toxic some people are because they’ve always sort of just been there In your life.
Perhaps, you were born to them.
Let’s say hypothetically, you recognize it. When we recognize that we are surrounding ourselves with people who breed toxicity, we have two choices:
A) We can create boundaries within the relationship or, in some cases sever the relationship completely.
B) We can keep the relationship as is and do nothing to change it or manage it.
I’ve taken the course of action of both A & B in my life. Recently, it’s been mostly A because well, ain’t nobody got time; literally.
Choosing B is not bad because I think we all need to come to our own conclusions and go through our own experiences to learn how we want to view the world.
I grew up thinking pretty negatively about a lot of shit. Particularly about myself but also the world around me.
These thoughts were instilled in me as a child because of the adults I was surrounded by throughout my life. I didn’t have a choice. It took years to unlearn these negative ways of thinking.
Things have changed. And I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if I didn’t have to sift through the BS to create my own new positive thoughts and opinions.
What’s changed specifically is nothing more than my mindset. And creating space between me and those toxic Individuals.
This is an example of creating boundaries. Sometimes, cutting off the relationship is actually the healthier route although it may not always be the easiest.
Cutting ties all together is not easy but it’s SO important to take care of your physical and mental health. Ridding people out of our lives is sometimes necessary in order to literally
maintain a positive mental state
of well being.
Our mental health NEEDS to be a priority in our life. The five closest people to us heavily influence our outlooks, opinions, and feelings about ourselves and the world around us.
Surrounding ourselves with people who bring us down can physically make us ill. What manifests in the mind has a way of manifesting in the body.
This is why stress literally makes us sick. Toxic people are the same thing.
Learning how to prioritize your time and becoming more selective with who you surround yourself with is you simply taking care of yourself and your health. There should be no guilt around that.
If you aren’t sure how to deal with certain toxic relationships, I encourage you to start by just paying attention to how you feel when you spend time with those people.
Just observe how you feel when you’re with them. You’ll know exactly what to do when you recognize if they are energetically bringing you up or down.
Don’t be apologetic for protecting your mental health.
If you stay open to a growth mindset and continue to honor yourself, the people who are meant to stay in your life will always be there. Make no apologies for doing you.
Time decides who we meet in your lives but our behavior decides who stays.